My mom RE: Twilight - Breaking Dawn

"Stupidest movie EVER!"
I am so proud of her :)


saying goodbye

One of my best friends leaves town today. We had one last get together, the four of us, to celebrate 20+ years of awesome dumbassery. Being older, we don't get that much time together, planning gets harder. Some of us have left before, and come back, but... Well, we're all getting older. It's harder to come back when you invest more in leaving.

Chatting about old times is nice. My memory is kind of shitty, and it feels good to have others to talk memories with. Makes me feel like I'm not quite so constantly lost in my own head. Care-free laughter feels really good, too. I'd almost forgotten what it feels like to not have responsibilities for a while.

It's not like we'll never see you again, and it's not like we got together so often as we used to in school. Our lives have taken separate directions a bit; we grow up and apart. We get busy. Life moves on.


We will still miss you.


Hello again, the internets. My friend died today.

She was a coworker of mine at Staples. There's more than a year between us, but she was still the kind of person I would come and move furniture for. I didn't even know she was sick until this morning.

It's weird. In a just world, this wouldn't have happened. But life sucks, sometimes. And really, that's all I've got to say on that subject. Things happen. Sometimes they're good, sometimes not.

People tend to question God when tragedies happen. I don't. You can say "God works in mysterious ways" or "It was meant to happen." But that's bullshit. You're using hopeful phrases to wall yourself off from deeper contemplation. There are two possible conclusions for all bad things that happen:

1. God isn't there.
2. He is, and He's an asshole.

It may seem pessimistic, but truly it's the only way I hold on to hope. If I were still a Christian, the non-sense of the world around my would drive me to insanity (Why is God letting this happen? Where is He?)
Faith is abused. Church and political leaders saying "have faith" really mean "stop asking questions."
I don't know if God is real. If he's not, then I still have hope that humanity can come to its senses. If he is, then I will tear down the sky to hold him accountable for what he's done.